Perception and Reality

So before I go into my post I deleted my last post "Happy Saturday" for no good reason. I was looking at my posts and had two in draft form that I didn't feel like using, but clicked Saturday instead. BOO! I hope that the readers who read it found something interesting... moving on.
This morning was frustrating because I was trying to figure out a problem not related to working out. Then I went to the gym and saw the elliptical as my problem and beat it to ground. Back to reality, I still have said problem but feel a tad bit less stressed about it. Anywho in beating it to the ground I had a personal best in millage and calories burned. I went about 4 miles, and burned 542 calories. This got me thinking. Looking at myself 15lbs ago, I COULDN'T have done that. After the lackluster workouts I had last week it felt really good knowing that I had improved.
 My thoughts then went back to my weight and size before I started. I didn't see my size, or weight. I thought hey I'm getting chunky, then ate some more ice cream. I didn't see myself as size 18/17, but I was. Truth when I imagine a size 18, I see a very large person who can't walk well and has a multitude of fat folds, NOT ME. Which is really mean and I feel bad that my brain goes there, but it does. Taking a trip to reality town I was a fat kid who gained weight, and clothing size. Right now my perception has caught up with reality and they are slower merging to create a more mindful Katie. I can see that my body is changing, and I'm pleased with that. That I can work up a good sweat and feel ALIVE, not like I'm going to die. This merging of perception and reality has had an interesting affect on me, I feel like for the first time in a long while I can be FULLY accountable for my choices, all my choices.
I'm going to leave you with the thought of being accountable, because that alone has been the key to my recent weight loss.
Loves!
Katie